It’s not about DOING, it’s about BEING

What question do I hate to be asked?   It’s the same question that I hate to ask anyone else.  “What do you DO?”  I don’t want to get to know someone by knowing what they do – we all do what we have to do to get through our lives and pay our bills. Sharing what you DO can easily become a debate on who is the most busy and has the most stuff to do.  I’ve found that no one ever wins that debate.  Focusing on what you DO can become a leveling field that tries to mark people with “who’s the most important?”

I much prefer to get to know how the person feels, or what they care deeply about.  I’d like to know what interests they have and how they enjoy spending their time.  I much prefer when a person wants to be my friend because they care about these things, than to be my friend because of what I DO.